Gundam Wing FEAR
by MarkeytseiaANDMoureeneeaaa
Summary: The Gundam Wing characters (and us) are put into MTV's FEAR! Dena-chan makes a guest appearance. Bad language warning for those with weak constitutions.


Disclaimer: We don't own...anything. Really. We don't own a damn thing except for this god forsaken laptop. And a love for Mordechai ::hearts:: So don't sue us! Cause Moureeneeaaa will kick you in the head! But she's an addict...Well anyway, enjoy!  
  
Note: Our very dear friend, and fellow mental patient, Dena-chan, stole our laptop and wrote a shitload of stuff in this fanfic. Because we got lazy, and Dena-chan wrote funny shit, we let it stay. So without further ado...GUNDAM WING FEAR!!!  
  
  
::Punk rock theme music plays as half a second clips of people screaming & running through the woods are shown at a nauseating speed::  
  
::Suddenly, the camera focuses on one boy, who is sitting at an undisclosed, somewhat natural location. A caption with a funny font reads "Heero"::  
  
::The most beautiful, charming, alluring, seductive, (author is beaten by her co-writer) oww!!...umm...voice, begins to speak off-screen::  
  
Sutashi: (off-screen) Tell us something about yourself, Heero!  
Heero: .....  
Sutashi: Heero!!!  
Heero: This is my mission.   
Sutashi: ::sweatdrop:: This is a game.  
Heero: My mission is to win. Omae o korosu. ::pulls out a gun::  
Sutashi: Err...thank you, Heero! ::snaps for the bouncers..I mean security guards..from the Jerry Springer fic::  
::Security guards shoot Heero with a tranquilizer gun and drag him back to his cage::  
  
::Camera switches to Duo, at the same undisclosed location, only with another potted plant behind him::  
Duo: ::looks directly at the camera:: Hi!! I'm Duo Max-  
Sutashi: You're not allowed to say your last name!!!  
Duo: ::pout:: Fine. I'm Duo, God of Death. I like Italian food, pinball machines, and trashy romance novels. Call me at 555-  
Sutashi: Duo! This is not a dating service!!  
Duo: ::sticks his tongue out at Sutashi, then looks back at the camera:: I brought a teddy bear named Mr Fuzzles!! ::pulls out a teddy bear wearing a Grim Reaper outfit:: See! Isn't he adorable!! ::huggles Mr Fuzzles::  
Sutashi: That's nice, Duo. Anything else?  
Duo: Well...my favorite color is blue, and I like zebras.  
Sutashi: That's enough, Duo.  
Duo: ::pout:: Fine! ::holds his hand up to his ear like a phone and mouths "call me"::  
Sutashi: ::sighs:: Next!  
  
::camera switches to Trowa at the undisclosed location, with a squirrel Beanie Baby in the back::  
Trowa: .....  
Sutashi: Ok, Tro-Tro! Tell us about yourself!  
Trowa: ......do I have to?  
Sutashi: Yes!  
Trowa: Fine...I like puppies?  
Sutashi: ::sigh:: Close enough. Thanks Tro-Tro.  
Trowa: ......  
  
::Switch to Quatre at the same damn place, with a paper scenery of a beach hanging in the background obviously drawn with crayons by a person with the artistic skills of a 5 year old::  
Quatre: ::sob:: I dun wanna go out there!!  
Sutashi: You have to, Qua-babe!  
Quatre: ::sobs louder:: But it's scary!!  
Sutashi: That's the point, love!  
Quatre: NO!! ::clings to his chair::  
Sutashi: Yes!! Hmm...you can borrow Duo's Mr. Fuzzles!  
Duo: ::off-screen:: You can't have him!!!  
Quatre: ::weep:: I want my mommy!!  
Sutashi: ::sigh:: Are you done, Quatre?  
Quatre: ::stops crying:: Yep. I'm good.  
Sutashi: Good. Next!  
  
::Camera switches to Wufei at the undisclosed.....oh hell, it's our backyard, OK!?::  
Wufei: This show is weak!  
Sutashi: Shut up and talk about yourself!  
Wufei: You are weak, onna!  
Sutashi: I can beat you down, bakayarou!  
Wufei: Bring it on!  
::a massive bitchfight ensues. Trowa and Duo break it up. Sutashi and Wufei sit back down::  
Sutashi: ::fixes her hair:: So are you going to talk about yourself or not?  
Wufei: ::mutter:: This is injustice.  
Sutashi: Thank you, baka!  
Wufei: What did you say??  
Sutashi: Nothing...::snaps and the man-slaves...i mean bouncers...i mean security guards shoot Wufei with a tranquilizer dart and haul him into his cage::   
  
::Camera switches to Kachie who is sitting in our backyard. OK? We admitted it!::  
Sutashi: So tell us about yourself.  
Kachie: Umm...I'm here cause you forced me. Bitch. Go away.  
Sutashi: ::mutters:: PMS...  
Kachie: No! I'm only here to suffocate Heero in his sleep! Don't tell him!  
Heero: ::from his cage:: I heard you.  
Kachie: My plans!!! Then I'm only here for the scholarship.  
Sutashi: Scholarship?  
Kachie: Yeah! There....is a scholarship....right?  
Sutashi: ::shakes her head:: ...no....  
Kachie: ::eyes fill with tears:: But I want to go to college...  
Sutashi: ::sigh:: Then sleep with the dean like I did!  
Kachie: Umm...no. I'm going out with Duo....I think....::looks directly into the camera:: I'm a Taurus and I like long walks on the beach and romantic dinners. ::wink::  
Duo: ::off-screen:: Stop copying me!  
Kachie: ::weep:: I thought you loved me!  
Duo: I do!  
Kachie: ::stops weeping:: You do?  
Duo: Yeah..  
::Duo comes onstage and makes out with Kachie::  
Sutashi: Get them off the stage!  
::the cameo security guards pull them off the stage::  
Sutashi: Damn, I'm glad that's over.  
::All the characters are knocked out by the bouncers and loaded in a large truck. Sutashi drives the truck like a fucking maniac to an undisclosed forest location and stops the truck in front of a dilapidated log cabin. The characters are loaded out of the truck and thrown into the cabin with a laptop. Sutashi and the man slaves-bouncers-security guards go to the nearest Four Seasons hotel, paid for by Quatre's credit card::  
  
::The characters are awakened by a loud, extremely annoying beeping sound emanating from the laptop::  
Duo: ::throws a rock at the laptop::  
::Laptop magically opens & displays an image of Sutashi, getting room service in her hotel room & being fanned with a palm branch by one of her sexy bouncers. The characters get up, clutching their heads in pain, and gather around the laptop, a mix of hatred & jealousy on their faces::  
  
Sutashi: ::notices that the webcam is on:: Oh hi!! ::shoves a muffin in her mouth:: Umm...so...how are you guys?  
Kachie: I hate you...  
Duo: We're hungry ::glare::  
Wufei: This is injustice!  
Quatre: ::is huddled in the corner:: I DUN WANNA DIE!!!!!  
Sutashi: Shut up everyone! Now, I need to tell you some creepy background bullshit about this place. Well...*I'm* not going to. Rather, these random people claiming to be psychics or having some knowledge of this crock of shit will tell you stuff & make the mood very eerie & frightening.  
Kachie: ....right...  
::The laptop seems to go into convulsions as prerecorded videos of random people pop up::  
Dekim: I used to live in those woods...crazy shit happened there....now why am I doing this?  
Sutashi: ::offscreen:: Because I'll sleep with you!  
Dekim: Oh! ::gets his Viagra ready::   
Sutashi: ::is about to vomit:: Never mind. You can go.  
Dekim: Damnit.  
  
::Screen focuses on an empty chair::  
Announcer's Voice From the Dub: After Colony 181, a ghost was seen in the woods. And it was scary and shit. Am I done?   
Sutashi: Oh fine! Umm...where's your body anyway.  
Announcer's Dismembered Voice From The Dub: Don't have one. Otherwise I'd want to sleep with you.  
Sutashi: ::sweatdrop:: Next!  
  
::Screen focuses on Noin::  
Noin: So you know where Zechs is?  
Sutashi: ::nods:: Hai hai! Just read the cue card!  
Noin: OK! I sense evil energy coming from that cabin...lots of negative energy...writing cue cards sucks.  
Sutashi: What?!  
Noin: That's what it says!  
Sutashi: ::snaps and the security guards kill the cue card writer:: Ok keep going!  
Noin: I'm sensing lots of nega- Clevland sucks.  
Sutashi: Eh??  
Noin: That's what it says!  
Sutashi: ::sigh:: Ok, that's enough.  
Noin: Can I see Zechs now? It's been 2 years, 74 days, 8 hours, 34 minutes & 24 seconds!  
Sutashi: ::mutters:: Once an obssessive-compulsive, always an obssessive-complusive.  
Noin: ::is too busy with hearts in her eyes & flowers surrounding her:: Zechs! I'll try!  
Sutashi: ::snaps & the bouncers hit her over the head & take her back to Sally Po on the Good Ship Lesbian::  
  
::Screen focuses on Zechs..err...Milliardo::  
Milliardo: My name is Zechs now. ::puts on the mask::  
Sutashi: ::sweatdrop:: Err...ok Zechs. Now..  
Zechs: Wait! I've changed my mind. I must uphold Relena's ideals. ::smashes his mask::  
Sutashi: Alright...so..  
Milliardo: Ok, last time! I don't deserve to bear the Peacecraft name. I'm Zechs again. ::looks at his mask then back at Sutashi:: Will you help me put my mask back together? :sad puppy dog eyes::  
Sutashi: ::melts:: Ok...::sits with Zechs on the floor and glues the mask together::  
::Screen goes black, then Zechs appears on the screen again in nothing but his boots::  
Sutashi: ::giggles off-screen drunkenly:: Now read the cue card, Sexy-Zechsy-Baby.  
Zechs: ::slurs:: Sure...::"I'm Too Sexy" begins to blare in the background & Zechs dances about drunkenly::  
  
::Characters stare at the screen in disgust and fear::  
Heero: ::vomits in the corner::  
Quatre: ::covers his eyes:: MY EYES!! MY VIRGIN EYES!!  
Wufei: ::passes out::  
Duo: NOOOO! THAT'S MY SISTER!! ::passes out::  
Trowa: Ooo, the door's open. ::walks out::  
Kachie: ::glomps the screen:: YES! WORK IT BABY!!  
  
::Screen goes back to Sutashi, who is eating poofy pastry things in her bed::  
Sutashi: ::looks at the scene:: That must have been really scary..  
Quatre: I want to go home!!! ::weeps hysterically::  
Kachie: ::pouts:: Damn! Oh well...hey Tashi-chan, I'm getting a copy of that, right? ::wink::  
Sutashi: Of what? ::blink::  
Kachie: You know...Zechs dancing...::winkwink::  
Sutashi: Wha-OH! ::her eyes go huge:: HOW MUCH DID YOU SEE???  
Kachie: Just Zechs dancing about drunkenly..  
Sutashi: ::breathes a sigh of relief:: Thank Jesallahbus. Well anyway, I need to give you guys colors. ::scans the room:: Where's everyone?  
Kachie: ::points to the corner where Heero is still vomiting:: Well there's Heero...and there's Quatre ::points to another corner where Quatre is sobbing like a small child:: and there's Duo & Wufei on the floor ::points to them:: and....Trowa's..::looks around::...gone...I think...  
Sutashi: Oh...well bring them over here!  
Kachie: ::glares and drags them all near the laptop, kicking Duo & Wufei several times to wake them up::  
Wufei: Honor...  
Sutashi: So anyway, you all get colors! We have shirts of your respective colors. You must wear them at all times.  
Kachie: What are the colors?  
Sutashi: We have fluorescent green, fluorescent orange, hot pink, purple, electric yellow, and puce.  
Kachie: ::looks at her strangely:: Puce?  
Sutashi: Hai! Ok, Quatre gets hot pink, Duo gets fluorescent orange, Wufei gets electric yellow, Heero gets purple, Kachie gets puce...and I dunno where Trowa is...  
  
Trowa: ::lost in the middle of the woods:: Oh shit...  
  
Sutashi: Well anyway, everyone put on your shirts!   
::Man-slaves show up with the shirts & clubs. Characters put on the shirts with much grumbling::  
Kachie: Is this even a color!?   
Sutashi: .....no.  
Heero: ....I'm in purple.  
Quatre: ::drops to his knees:: PINK!! THANK ALLAH!!!   
Wufei: This is injustice.  
Duo: ::runs around madly singing "Kitto OK"::  
Sutashi: Ummm... do something about him.  
Kachie: ::smacks Duo upside the head:: BE QUIET BAKA!!  
Duo: Ow...you hate me!! ::gets all teary::  
Kachie: No.. I hate you.. because.. I love you!  
Duo: Eh?  
Kachie: It's just love! You insensitive jerk!  
Heero, Quatre, and Wufei: ....what?  
Duo: I'm confused.  
Sutashi: Can we start the missions now?  
Heero: ::ears perk up:: Mission!?  
Sutashi: Yes Heero.. a mission.  
Heero: ^.^  
Sutashi: ::twitch:: Don't ever do that again!  
Heero: -_- Roger.  
::Then out of no where...DENA POPS UP!!:  
Dena: HIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! ::glomps Wufei::  
Wufei: ::rolls his eyes:: Great....  
Sutashi: You're just in time Dena-chan!  
Dena: ::looks around:: Where are we and why is everyone wearing ugly ass shirts?  
Sutashi: We're in some random location in the woods and we're playing ::scary music in the background:: FEAR!  
Renegade man slave-bouncer-security guard: ::runs in and grabs Dena:: You are coming with me....DENA!! ::lightning flashes,thunder sounds, and birds fly::  
Dena: ::looks around:: What the hell was that?  
Random man slave-bouncer-security guard: Nothing. Now let's go....DENA!! ::scary shit happens again and they run out::  
Sutashi: Who the hell was that?  
Kachie: He wasn't one of yours?  
Sutashi: ::long silence:: ....no.....Oh well! Who cares?  
Kachie: ::sweatdrop:: That's my cousin..  
Sutashi: ::clears her throat:: Your mission......is to do the crazy shit I tell you to do. If you don't do it, you lose.  
Heero: What do we win?  
Sutashi: Damned if I know.  
Kachie: You don't even know?  
Sutashi: I mean....umm....it's a surprise! Anyway...go to the corner and open the box.  
Kachie: ::goes to the corner and opens the box. Inside are six envelopes. She takes them out and looks at them. Each has a name on it:: What are these for?  
Sutashi: ::deep scary voice:: Those....are your missions.  
Heero: What's up with the voice?  
Sutashi: It's cool, okay?! Anyway....give each person their envelope except Trowa cause Tro-Tro ran away and now I miss him and he needs to come here tonight so we can make hot passionate love cause these man slaves are pissing me off and they can't fan right and they can't please me like my Trowa cause he's just s-  
Heero: SHUT UP ALREADY!!  
Sutashi: ::wide eyes:: Did I just say that?  
Kachie: ::strange look:: ...yes.  
Duo: ::twitch::  
Quatre: ::sob:: I WANT MY MOMMY!!!  
Wufei: ..Honor..  
Sutashi: Open the envelopes! Each of you!  
::They all open the envlopes::  
Heero: .....this is a Christmas card..  
Kachie: "I have only the deepest sympathy for your loss..." Someone died?  
Sutashi: Only your hamster..Happy.  
Kachie: WHAT!? HAPPY'S DEAD!? ::starts sobbing::  
Duo: Ohh!! It's my birthday!  
Quatre: I don't celebrate Easter.  
Wufei: .."Happy Valentine's Day?"  
Kachie: I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S DEAD!! ::weeps pathetically::  
Sutashi: Umm... I guess that those weren't the missions after all, so I'll just have to tell you!  
Duo: Joy....  
Sutashi: Okay, um.. ::reads off her own cue card:: Fluorescent Orange must go into the middle of the forest and wait further instruction, Puce will navigate...I love bunnies.. ARG!!   
Duo: ::looks down at his shirt:: Damn.. I'm orange.  
Kachie: ::looks down at her shirt:: Damn..I'm puce..  
::They look at each other::  
Duo and Kachie: ..Shit  
  
*Meanwhile*  
  
::Dena appears out of nowhere in a darkened room, her clothes are half ripped off, and she's seriously pissed. She faces a desk with a highbacked chair facing away from her::  
Darkened figure: So you made it here...DENA!! ::lightning flashes, thunder sounds, birds fly::   
Dena: ..eh?  
::the darkened figure swings around to face Dena, it's ....Sutashi!::  
Dena: ::sweatdrop:: Hi Sutashi....  
Sutashi: Eh? ::checks the lighting:: DAMMIT!! Um.. anyway...::in a James Earl Jones-esque voice:: So.. you found our little hotel room..eh?  
Dena: ....yeah.  
Sutashi: Now...you must JOIN US!!  
Dena: Why?  
Sutashi: ....umm.. because!  
Dena: Sure!  
Sutashi: ::happy squeaky noise:: Yay! By the way...how did you get away from that dude?  
Dena: ::glare:: You don't wanna know...  
  
  
Duo: ::walks through the forest with a whole lot of paranormal finding shit on:: Um.. am I there yet?  
Kachie: ::sits back in the cabin with headphones on an a cup of hot chocolate:: Um..no...  
Duo: I'm cold...and scared!  
Kachie: ::sip:: Aww... it's okay Duo-koi! You'll eventually get there.. are you in a grassy meadow?  
Duo: No.. I passed that like... five minutes ago!  
Kachie: Oh crap! Um.. go back! ::sip::  
Duo: Damn it... ::turns back::  
*Fifteen minutes later*  
  
Duo: Okay... I'm here.. there's...stuff!  
Kachie: Yeah. Well, take the water gun out of the bag.  
Duo: O.O. Water gun?  
Kachie: YEAH!  
Duo: ::fishes around in the bag:: There's something squishy in here... ::takes out the water gun:: Okay, I got it.. um.. ::squirts the gun a little:: This shit isn't water..  
Kachie: Now, squirt the pig's blood in a circle.  
Duo: Blood?! Cool! ::tastes some of it, realizes what he just did, and tries to spit it out:: Eww! ::squirts it in a circle:: Now what?  
Kachie: Okay.. now take out the severed human head.  
Duo: ..eh?  
Kachie: JUST DO IT!  
Duo: ::takes out the head and shines his little flashlight on it:: Dude.. I know these eyebrows.. it's Dorothy!  
Kachie: COOL!!  
Duo: ::sweatdrop:: Okay.. ::puts Dorothy's head in the center of the blood circle::  
Kachie: Now.. chant this... "Tddkkks! Demon of Graaath!! Come forth and show your true form!"   
Duo: Wait.. say that dude's name again..  
Kachie: Tddkkks.  
Duo: Okay. ::clears throat:: Tddkks! Demon of Grath! Come forth and show your true form!!!  
  
::crickets chirp, the sound of a person stumbling::  
  
Trowa: OW!!!!! ::falls down and hits his head against a tree:: AAAAAHHHH!! ::blink blink:: Who am I? Where am I?  
  
Duo: Nothing happened.  
Kachie: Dammit! You pronounced it wrong!  
Duo: Pronounced what wrong?  
Kachie: The name!! It's "Tddkkks!!" not "Tddkks"! And it's "Graaath!" not "Grath!"  
Duo: WHAT'S THE FREAKIN' DIFFERENCE!?!?  
Kachie: It's all in the pronounciation!  
Duo: Fine! *ahem* TDDKKKS! DEMON OF *GRAAATH*! COME FORTH AND SHOW YOUR TRUE FORM!  
::total silence::   
Kachie: Umm... measure for paranormal activity?  
Duo: Right...now.. how the hell do I do that?  
Kachie: Um..close your eyes and..think happy thoughts!  
Duo: You just made that up, didn't you.  
Kachie: Yeah.   
Duo: ::stands there:: umm...here demon demon demon!  
Kachie: That's not helping!  
Dena: ::hides behind a tree:: Hehehe.. ::cups hands around mouth and makes "oooooing" sounds::  
Duo: What the fuck is that!?  
Kachie: ...."ooooing" sounds?  
Duo: Oh my god!!!  
Dena: ::creepy voice:: Duo! I have come for your braid!! ::flashes scissors:: SNIP SNIP!! ::laughs maniacally::  
Duo: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Quatre: ::looks over Kachie's shoulder:: What's going on?  
Kachie: Duo's freaking out.  
Duo: ::runs in circles screaming and runs to the cabin::   
Kachie: What's wrong?  
Duo: ::throws himself in a corner:: I CAN'T GO BACK OUT THERE!! ::weeps::  
Kachie: Why?  
Duo: THERE'S EVIL!! *EVIL*!!!!!  
Kachie: ::blink:: Nani?  
Quatre: I told you evil shit was out here! I'm scared!!  
Wufei: Weakling.  
Duo: ::grabs Mr. Fuzzles & rocks back and forth:: I wanna go home.  
Kachie: You can't go!  
Duo: YES I CAN!!! ::runs away screaming with Mr Fuzzles::  
Kachie: NOOOOO! BUT WHO WILL KEEP ME WARM THESE COLD & LONELY NIGHTS?!?!?!  
Heero: ::raises his hand:: I will.  
Kachie: ::blink:: OK! ::jumps him::  
::Heero & Kachie make out::  
  
Duo: ::gets picked up by the man slaves and brought to the Four Seasons::  
Sutashi: Hiya onii-chan!  
Duo: ::wimpers and hides in a corner, clutching his braid & Mr. Fuzzles:: I'm never going back out there.  
Dena: ::pops up on Sutashi's laptop screen:: Yo!  
Sutashi: Hi Dena-chan!  
Dena: Is Duo there?  
Sutashi: Umm.....yea. Why?  
Dena: ::chuckles:: Is he huddled in a corner?  
Sutashi: ::looks over at Duo:: Yes.  
Dena: ::cackles:: Tell him it was me who scared him in the woods!  
Duo: ::jumps up from his corner:: NANI?! ::runs over to the computer screen, attempting to strangle Dena. He realizes that it's just a computer image too late and slams into the laptop, horribly disfiguring it::  
Sutashi: ::falls to her knees:: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! ::weeps over the broken laptop::  
Duo: Umm.......sorry?  
Sutashi: ::weeps pitifully on the floor::  
  
::Trowa is wandering around in the woods, trying to figure out where he is::  
::Dena is creeping around, trying to scare Trowa cause she likes to scare people::  
Trowa: Where am I? ::wanders around aimlessy and finally stops:: Who am I?  
Dena: ::bursts out of the woods and breaks into song:: I AM JEAN VALJEAAAAAAANNNNN!!  
Wufei: ::hears the screaming and finds Trowa standing in the middle of the woods with a dark figure standing in front of him:: What the hell?  
Dena: ::points to Wufei, still singing:: And so Javert you see it's true! That man bears no more guilt than you! Who am I? 24601!! ::rips off her shirt, running around screaming::  
Wufei and Trowa: ::run out of the woods screaming. Trowa gets lost again, but Wufei runs to Sutashi's hotel room::  
Wufei: ::bursts into the cabin:: There is an evil presence out there! IT'S INJUSTICE!!  
Sutashi: ::weeps on the floor::  
Duo: ::is trying to comfort her::  
Wufei: Well at least I'm not the first one to lose. ::takes a seat at the table::  
  
Kachie: ::wandering around the woods with Heero following her like a love sick puppy:: Where the hell is Duo?   
Heero: I dunno.  
Kachie: He has to finish his mission. ::stands at the circle of pigs blood:: Guess I'll have to finish it for him. TDDKKKS! DEMON OF *GRAAATH*! COME FORTH AND SHOW YOUR TRUE FORM!  
::there is sounds of twigs snapping in the woods::  
Kachie: Shit....it worked. Umm.....now what do I do?  
Dena: ::pops out happily:: HIYEEEEEEEEEE!!  
Kachie: ::sweatdrop:: Hi Dena.  
Dena: ::looks at Heero:: What's he doing here?   
Kachie: Well....Duo got scared and I got worried about who would keep me warm during the cold and lonely nights. So, Heero volunteered and we started making out. Then, I realized that I had to make sure Duo wasn't lying in a pile of death in the middle of the woods and Heero followed me. Also, I wanted to win this game, so I decided to finish Duo's mission and then you came.  
Dena: ::blank look:: Right....wait......you were making out with Heero?  
Kachie: That's not important right now. We need to find Duo.  
Dena: He's at Sutashi's hotel room.  
Kachie: Oh......okay ::runs off with Heero::  
Dena: ::turns to the camera and points after Kachie:: That my friend...is a whore.  
  
Quatre: ::sits on the computer playing solitaire:: Lalalalalala  
  
Dena: ::runs off the Sutashi's hotel room:: Hello all!! ::sees Sutashi weeping on the floor next to her broken laptop:: What did you do now, Duo?  
Duo: Me? I didn't do anything! It was all you! ::lunges at Dena::  
Dena: ::grabs him:: Just like on Temptation Island.  
Duo: Nani?  
Wufei: What?  
Dena: ::pushes Duo onto the bed and makes out with him::  
Wufei: HEY!  
Sutashi: ::slaps Dena:: Stop it! That's a different fanfic.  
Dena: ::stops and fixes her clothes:: Oh yeah....  
Duo: Damn.....well, can't we practice now?  
Dena: ::gives a sexy grin and pulls Duo into the closet::  
Wufei: ::jealous boyfriend look::  
Sutashi: ::blink:: Eww...::continues weeping over the fallen laptop. It was her life! It was her one true love! Well....after Penis McLesbian...and SQUEEGEEMAN!::  
  
Kachie: ::sits back in her little cabin:: Oi...I can't find him..  
Heero: Hn. ::tries to make out with her again::  
Kachie: No!! The laptop! The laptop will tell us what to do! ::runs to the laptop and pushes Quatre out of the way::  
Quatre: Ow! Hey!  
Kachie: ::sits at the laptop and turns on the little program:: The laptop knows all!  
Quatre: ::sweatdrop:: Psycho...  
  
  
Wufei: Gr... ::picks up the webcam and opens the closet door, pointing the webcam at Duo and Dena having a hot sex scene:: Revenge..almost as good as JUSTICE!  
  
  
Kachie: Tell us what to do! ::watches as the webcam turns on, showing Dena and Duo going at it:: .......  
Quatre: ::watches over her shoulder:: Damn...I wish I was there...  
Kachie: ::turns around and starts choking Quatre:: BASTARD!! I'LL KILL YOU!!! THAT'S MY COUSIN AND MY BOYFRIEND!  
Quatre: Ack!! Can't..breathe... going dark...tunnel.. oooh.. pretty light.. ::wheeze::  
Heero: .....cool.  
Kachie: ARG!!!!  
Heero: Okay.. Don't kill him. ::breaks it up::   
Quatre: ::unconsious on the floor::  
Kachie: ::starts kicking Quatre:: AHHHHH!!!!  
Heero: ::grabs Kachie and spins her around the face him:: Don't do that!  
Kachie: Why not!?  
Heero: Because he isn't fucking your boyfriend.  
Kachie: .......what?  
Heero: Umm.. ::starts making out with her::  
Kachie: Oh!! Yeah! ::throws him on the floor and starts making love to him::  
Quatre: ::wakes up:: Ow... where's.. ::sees Heero and Kachie:: O.o... Allah... ::passes out::  
  
*A Few Hours Later*  
Sutashi: Yay! I got my new laptop from... the government. Locked the remaining people in the cabin (Heero, Kachie and Quatre) and.. um...fired Dena!  
::It begins to rain::   
Trowa: ::gets all wet:: These memories!! WHAT THE FUCK!?  
Sutashi: ::pokes her head out of her hotel window:: Tro-Tro?  
Trowa: ::cowers:: Who are you!?  
Sutashi: You don't.. remember me?  
Trowa: ..No  
Sutashi: YOU DON'T REMEMBER OUR STEAMY NIGHTS OF PASSION!?  
Trowa: No.  
Sutashi: AHHHHHHH!!!!! ::sobs, then looks up:: Someone dry him off! ::a bunch of man slaves wielding towels bring Trowa inside and dry him off:: Tro-Tro, you should not be allowed in the rain...  
  
  
Heero: ::sits at the laptop:: The next mission?  
Sutashi: ^.^ ::makes her hands like she's praying then leans foreward, putting a hand on either side of the screen:: It's been a while...Heero.  
Heero: Aiee! Noin?!  
Sutashi: Huh!? Ack! ::huddles in her chair:: I don't look like Noin!  
Heero: Never mind.  
Kachie: ::comes up behind Heero and puts her arms around him, peeking over his shoulder at Sutashi:: What's up Tashi-chan?  
Sutashi: ....Did I miss something?  
Heero: No. Continue.  
Sutashi: Okay... Purple must go to another creepy little cabin in the middle of the woods and do a Satanic ritual. Hot Pink will navigate.  
Quatre: I'm needed?  
Sutashi: Yup! ^.^  
  
Duo: ::locked in the closet with Dena:: Crap.. This sucks..  
Dena: Yeah.. I GOT FIRED!  
Duo: Aw... ::huggles:: Wait.. WE NEED FOOD!  
Dena: No we don't! We have each other!  
Duo: ..You actually believe that?  
Dena: No.. not at all...  
  
Heero: ::walks in the middle of the woods:: ....I feel nothing.  
Quatre: Make a left... there!  
Heero: Roger.  
Quatre: Do you see a cabin yet?  
Heero: No.  
Quatre: Okay..open your eyes.  
Heero: Oh! There it is!  
Kachie: ::sweatdrop:: Ah Megami-sama...he's pathetic...  
Quatre: Okay, enter the cabin.. I have to play this little blurb-thingy now..  
  
::the laptop screen fizzes, and pre-recored footage plays::  
  
Dorothy: That cabin once was the home of an evil serial killer. Who ate babies.. and didn't pay his taxes. Am I done?  
Sutashi: Come here.. Dorothy..  
Dorothy: Hey.. What are you doing with that ax!? ::the screen goes black, only the audio can be heard:: AHHHHH!!! Now you are repeatedly beating me with the butt of your ax! Ack! Why must you hurt me so? Oh no! Now you are hacking away at me with your ax, cutting my sad pathetic body into nothing. Oh no! You are about to cut off my head.. oh please do-  
  
Quatre and Kachie: O.o...  
  
Heero: Hn. I'm in the cabin.  
Quatre: Okay, now you gotta kill a rat with your bare hands.  
Heero: ::grabs a rat as it skuttles by and snaps its neck:: Done.  
Quatre: O.O I named that rat Walter...  
Kachie: ::reads over Quatre's shoulder:: Put the rat into the center of the pentagram.  
Heero: What pentagram.  
Kachie: Umm... ::grabs her coat and runs over to the cabin, grabs some chalk, draws a pentagram, then runs back::  
Heero: .....  
Kachie: ::pant pant:: That pentagram.   
Heero: Okay!  
Kachie: Alright...now, put the rat in the center of the pentagram!  
Heero: Roger. ::throws the rat in the center::  
Kachie: Now.. cut your finger..   
Heero: ..WHAT!?  
Kachie: JUST DO IT!  
Heero: No!  
Kachie: It's your mission!  
Heero: Mission accepted. ::cuts his finger with a knife lying around:: Ow.  
Kachie: Dribble your blood over the dead rat and say: "Oh ye high Satan, god of blood, come to my aid!"  
Heero: Excuse me?  
Kachie: I didn't make it up! It was Sutashi!  
Heero: Right... ::with absolutely no feeling:: Oh ye high Satan, god of blood, come to my aid.  
Kachie: That sucked, put feeling into it!  
Heero: I said it, didn't I?  
Kachie: More feeling or.. no sex!  
Heero: ::with a little more feeling:: Oh ye high..  
Kachie: MORE!  
Heero: ::puts more feeling into it:: Oh ye high Satan..  
Kachie: ::stands up, clutching the laptop:: GODDAMMIT! MORE!! I WANT TO FEEL YOUR ANGER!  
Heero: ::screams:: OH YE HIGH SATAN! GOD OF BLOOD!! COME TO MY AID!! ::goes back to monotone:: How was that.  
Kachie: YES! YES!! I FEEL IT!! I FEEL THE POWER!! ::cackles maniacally::  
Heero: Kachie?  
Kachie: ::in an almost orgasmic manner:: OH YES!! THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL!! OH GOD I LOVE IT!  
Heero: Kachie?  
Kachie: OH GOD!! OH GOD!!  
Quatre: ::slaps her:: Pull yourself together!  
Kachie: ::blinks:: Where am I?  
Heero: I did it.. what do I do now?  
Quatre: Um... well, take out the spider...  
Heero: ::wide eyes::...spider?  
Quatre: Yeah! The spider!  
Heero: No one said anything about me handling evil demonic crawly things! ::twitch::   
Quatre: You gotta do it!  
Heero: NO! ::starts weeping::   
Kachie: No! I know that look! You can't leave!  
Heero: ::runs back to the cabin weeping: I THINK IT TOUCHED ME!!   
Quatre: .....  
Kachie: Who will keep me warm now!?  
Quatre: ::looks at Kachie::  
Kachie: ::looks at Quatre::   
Both: No.  
Heero: ::finishes packing his things and waits for the manslaves to pick him up::  
Kachie: ::goes up to him:: So.. you're leaving?  
Heero: As soon as the manslaves come.  
Kachie: So.. it's over?  
Heero: I guess.  
Kachie: ::sniffle:: You're breaking up with me!?  
Heero: Hn.  
Kachie: I love you! ::glomps::  
Heero: O.o...what?  
Kachie: Eh? ack! ::lets go:: Sorry, I was..caught up in the moment.   
Dena: ::through cousin ESP:: (Yeah right, you really do love him!)  
Kachie: (Go back to fucking Duo!)  
Dena: (We aren't fucking! We aren't doing anything! Hold on.. ::orgasmic moan:: Um..uhh.. I'll talk to you later! ...oh yeah fucker!)  
Kachie: ::look of horror::  
Heero: Hn. ::sees the manslaves drive up:: Bye Kachie! ::jumps into the car and drives off::  
Kachie: ::runs after the car:: Heero! Come back and kill me one day!  
Heero: .....  
Dena: (You did not just say that you Relena wannabe!)  
Kachie: ::covers her mouth:: ...Shit.  
  
Sutashi: Okay, the next mission is this... Puce must go to another grassy meadow, Hot Pink will navigate.  
Kachie: Dammit!! Quatre, you fuck this up for me.. I'll kill you.  
Quatre: O.O eh?  
Kachie: ::picks up her paranormal measuring stuff:: Okay, let's get this over with.  
Quatre: Okay.. byes!  
Kachie: So.....where am I going?  
Quatre: Some ominous grassy meadow. So go!   
Kachie: ::walks out the door and wanders around the woods for a while:: Am I there yet?  
Quatre: No.  
Kachie: Oh......am I there now?  
Quatre: No.  
Kachie: ::long silence:: Am I there now?  
Quatre: No!  
Kachie: Now?  
Quatre: For the millionth time, no!  
Kachie: That was only four times.  
Quatre: Just look for the grassy meadow, ok?  
Kachie: K....::walks to a grassy meadow and an ominous short figure is standing there:: Who's there?  
::A small child laughs::  
Kachie: Oh God....  
::The small child laughs again and walks closer::  
Kachie: Please! Have mercy!  
::Mariemaia steps out of the shadows::  
Kachie: ::screams::  
Mariemaia: ::glomps onto Kachie's arm:: Come now, sister. We have so much to catch up on. ::Laughs and smiles::  
Kachie: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! ::runs away, never to be seen again::  
  
  
Dena: I need to get out of here. I MUST MAKE MY DRAMATIC RETURN!!!  
Duo: Why?  
Dena: Because I need to be seen more before this fic ends! I'M NOT SEEN ENOUGH!!  
Duo: You were seen a lot.  
Dena: Shut up, Duo. ::kisses him::  
Duo: Ok...  
Dena: I need to think. ::thinks too much and hurts her head:: Oww....ok. Enough of that. I'm just gonna bust outta here and...do...stuff...yea...  
  
Sutashi: So, Quatre....I guess you won.  
Quatre: Yay! What do I win?  
Sutashi: ::sexy grin:: How about I sleep with you?  
Quatre: Umm...  
Sutashi: ::smiles:: Just kidding! You win...umm....::looks around her hotel room and picks up a glass kitten off the table:: this! A pretty glass kitten.  
Quatre: ::holds the glass kitten:: Aww....it's so cute.  
Sutashi: Yea...::turns toward the camera:: Well our special episode of Fear is over. Quatre is the winner and....Kachie has disappeared.  
Dena: ::burst out of the closet:: WAIT A MINUTE!! I HAVE MADE MY TRIUMPHANT RETURN!!  
Sutashi: The fic is over...  
Dena: Aww.....Dammit!  
Sutashi: ::waves:: Bye everyone! And don't forget to tune in next time when the Gundam pilots are thrown onto ::dramatic voice:: Temptation Island!   
Dena: Oooooo! That's gonna be fun!  
Sutashi: Yea....Bye!  
  
  
::credits roll::  
  
Written By: Markeytseia and Moureeneeaaa  
Created By: Markeytseia and Moureeneeaaa  
Produced By: Markeytseia and Moureeneeaaa  
Directed By: Markeytseia and Moureeneeaaa  
Featuring: Dena (she gets no credit for this. Dena: HEY!)  
  
  
Cast  
  
Heero Yuy........Odin Lowe Jr.  
Duo Maxwell......Duo Maxwell  
Trowa Barton.....Triton Bloom  
Quatre Raberba Winner..Quatre Raberba Winner  
Chang Wufei......Chang Wufei  
Kachie Khushrenada.....Kachie Khushrenada  
Sutashi Maxwell...Sutashi Maxwell  
Dena Khushrenada...Dena Khushrenada  
  
Mariemaia Khushrenada...Herself  
Zechs Merquise/Millardo Peacecraft/Sexy-Zechsy-Baby...Himself  
Dismembered voice from the dub...Himself  
Dorothy Catalonia...Itself  
Dekim...Himself  
Lucrezia Noin.....Her obsessive-compulsive self  
  
  
Manslaves....  
Billy Bob Joe Philly Rae  
Saturnelious Jones  
Dale Smith  
Freddy Jo Bob  
Ignatious Philharmonica  
Gaylord Harmonious  
Tommy Salami  
Mark Cohen  
Penis McLesbian  
Ben Dover  
Dick B. Throbbin  
Jean Valjean  
Eric Wohltman (his e-mail address is.....)  
And many more which will not be mentioned at this time.   
  
Random Renegade Manslave....Fabio  
  
  
Special Thanks To  
David Schwimmer (whom we sacrificed to Shinigami so that he would bless our fanfic)  
Mordachai (Markeytseia's muse.. who is.. DEAD!! ::there is much weeping::)  
Jerry Springer (just..because)  
MTV (for thinking up the stupidest show in the whole wide world)  
Violins (because Markeytseia loves them!)  
God (for giving Markeysteia her His child, Lucifina)  
Lucifina ( who, after fifty hours of labor, came into this world on June 6th, 666!)  
Li Syaoran (whom Moureeneeaaa wants to kick in the head)  
Money (because we love it)  
The Endless Waltz DVD (who gave us a reason for living)  
And all the little people we crushed (and had Heero kill) to get here.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A.C. 199  
  
Markeytseia and Moureeneeaaa Productions  
In Collaboration with Dena inc. 


End file.
